Return
Untrained Effort #31
I’ve been thinking, living, and breathing the idea of return.
For so long, my answer to the question “Where are you from?” has been a rehearsed: “I was born in Bulgaria”. I placed the emphasis on “born” because I knew, instinctively and from a young age, what people were actually seeking: a singular fact with which to “read” me.
They weren’t looking for the nuance of a life lived in motion; that I learned to write in Tunisia, went drinking for the first time in Spain, or rented my first flat in France…
Now, older (and perhaps a bit wiser), I wonder: what would it actually be like to live in the country I was always told was my own? It is an impossible question with a complicated answer. I’ve never truly lived here in Sofia, my “hometown”. I simply came and went, year after year. I mourned my grandparents, noted the transformation of landmarks, and grew bewildered by the tide of cars that seemed to multiply each season (“I swear, it wasn’t like this when I was younger…”).
In a world increasingly obsessed with borders, is returning a defeat? Can you ever really go back if you have changed and the place has moved on too? Are roots permanent fixtures, or do we carry them neatly packed amongst the rest of our luggage?
When my head fills with questions I cannot answer, I turn to the only thing I know can help us figure it out: art.
New partnership and workshop series
I’ve been spending a bit more time in Bulgaria lately, maybe the most “meta” research and development ever. I am starting to actively think about a future “Return” performance project.
It is in this context that I am excited to announce a new partnership with Baza, a gorgeous space created by Zornitsa Stoyanova. The space is dedicated to research and experimentation that supports choreographic, multidisciplinary and improvisational practices.
I’m running a series of workshops dedicated to the idea and topics of return, working with Bulgarians who have decided to come back and make their home here. These labs are open to anyone who has returned and will each focus on one aspect of making devised theatre, introducing a wider audience to the genre. It’s my first step towards creating a show that speaks about the Bulgarian diaspora’s experience, what it means to choose to come back and how, perhaps, we see things differently once we’ve decided this is home.
Residencies
I’m also investigating wider dynamics behind the topic of return. I am particularly interested in its impossibility: in a world torn by war and climate catastrophe, what does it mean to live without this option? When everywhere the far right is on the rise, how is returning being weaponised both in policy and in rhetoric?
I’m excited to spend some dedicated time investigating this at Metal in Southend-on-Sea who are hosting me for a week of research and writing on the topic. I’m looking to speak to people who have a connection to the topic of return, one way or another. Maybe you’ve done it? Maybe you’ve been thinking about it? Or is something that has never been an option for you? I would love to hear from you – drop me a line if you’d be up for speaking to me about it.
Later this summer I will be headed to Leeds University to explore the topic using immersive technologies. I’m interested in bringing “return” to people’s homes… stay tuned for more updates!
Tasty summer
I’ve got a few more irons in the fire for this summer and praying to the funding gods for some (well deserved!) support...
What I do know is I will be making an urban intervention about my favourite snack… I’m leaving you with a picture I took. Can you guess what it is??
Coaching
Spring equinox is on the corner and I can already feel the shifting of the seasons. I’m here to support you if you’d like to get some plans in motion or you are in a moment of change, personally or professionally. My books are open and I have good availability from mid-May onwards. Book a free consultation if you’d like a coach in your life !
Recommendations
Recently, i’ve been listening to Minority Rule: Adventures in the Culture Wars by Ash Sakah as well as Nostalgia: a history of a dangerous emotion by Agnes Arnold-Forster.
I am also on season 19 of Top Chef (only 5 to go!) and season 4 of Below Deck Down Under. Whilst i am (unexplicably) still enjoying the cooking competition show, Below Deck seems to have lost a lot of its appeal. This season’s cast is, on average, older but the edit still pushes the teen-like gossip and it just feels… a bit sad. Thoughts?
Thank you
If you are still reading, thanks for being here.
